Wendy's ICA Experience

UACs and Me

icawendy — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 05:39:46 +0000

UACs are Underlying Automatic Commitments. In simple terms, they are the things that you believe to be true about yourself and the basis for how you operate. It doesn’t matter whether they’re true or not, you believe they’re true and so you make them your truth. They happen to the best of us.

Here are what I believe to be my Underlying Automatic Commitments:

My professional success has been about being lucky and in the right place at the right time.
I’m destined to stay in my current living situation.
My best days are behind me.
I need to keep those closest to me at a distance.
I owe it to others to keep my wins at bay.

Wow! I never looked at my life this way before. It’s limiting and powerful at the same time. Limiting because I can see how these undercurrents have contributed to the themes of my life but powerful because now that I see there here in black & white, I can move past them … around them … over them … through them.

Extracting UACs from my clients will be a key in helping them to bring their goals within reach and ultimately attaining them. There are a number of things you need to listen for when looking for UACS. Some of these include:

Emotionally charged statements (i.e. I hate this! I wish I could change X, Y, and Z. It really bothers me that …)
Statements with hints of past or “normal” behavior. (This always happens to me. I never have any luck with … I am just not good at…)
Negative themes. (I am just not making progress. I am stuck in a rut. This is depressing.)
Explanations. (I have been faced with this problem before. I always do this! I have real trouble with X, Y and Z.)

My colleague is a Consciousness Coach and in her spiritual discoveries, she’s learned that humankind has 3 deep-seated fears: 1) not being significant; 2) not being loved; 3) not being enough. So in coaching, it’s likely to hear UACs that will all be a variation of those.

Coaching Models

icawendy — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 16:41:43 +0000

There are literally hundreds of coaching models and processes out there but developing the one that works best for my purposes will be important as your model is really the game plan for your sessions with your client. It basically gives you a set of rules, a plan, and a focal point all in one.

Here are a few ideas from ICA:

LQAF Model (Listen, Question, Acknowledge, Feedback)
Taking Action Coaching Model (Goal Setting, Planning, Support, Acknowledge)
The 4D Coaching Model (Dialoguing, Deciding, Doing, Digesting)

With any good process or plan, sometimes the need to make adjustments exists. ICA recommends taping your first few sessions and listening for key elements you hear happening in the exchanges. You can get feedback from your client, your ICA coach or a mentor coach to help identify these elements. Your coaching model needs to be carefully created and put on paper. Once finalized after the proper review/tweaking time, it will be your working model–open to adjustments for improvements as needed. Simple as that!

Lights, Camera, ACTION

icawendy — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 06:35:02 +0000

In order to help the client create ACTION here’s what is needed:

Unpack the issue
Gather the resources to support the action
Set the goal(s)
Prevent slipping into the old patterns
Create a plan!
Affirm positively

These will also be integrated into my coaching model. This portion of our studies at ICA remind me of an NFL football game. The unpacking is adapting to this week’s team, the goal is to win the game, the old patterns are any adjustments that need to be made from last week’s game, the plan is the sets of offensive/defensive plays and the positive affirmation is that thing the teams do before the game where they huddle up, yell and scream and run onto the field looking to pummel somebody!

Focus on solutions
Build on past success
Create a list of encouraging role models
Assemble a support team

SMART goals

icawendy — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 06:25:21 +0000

Most all goals are good, but in order for a goal to have structure, they need to be SMART.

Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Realistic
Time bound

These elements put good framework around a goal and a good foundation under it. Once your goal meets these criteria, there are a number of strategies to use in order to further increase the likelihood of it being achieved. A few of these include:

Writing your goals down – in a checklist format, a blog, a journal … the format that works best for you
Adjusting goals up or down when necessary
Watching out for anyone who will stand in the way or be counterproductive to your process
Asking for help when it’s needed
Sharing your goals with those who will help achieve it
Positively affirming your goal as a part of your life
Envisioning your goal as if its already been met

These elements will be a the cornerstone of my coaching model.

Celebrating Wins (well, at least acknowledging them)

icawendy — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 05:51:20 +0000

As clients and their coaches work toward achieving goals, it’s of the utmost important to recognize steps made along the way. This is called acknowledgement, but it’s much more than that. As people make strides toward achieving goals, it’s very important to them that SOMEBODY KNOWS and CARES. I’m being coached right now as part of the ICA program and each session includes a section where I share progress made on important areas of my life.

Last week my coach told me that she was really impressed at how I’d deployed a strategy we discussed (that I needed to start speaking up when communicating with a person in my life about things that were getting in the way of authentic and safe conversation). I thought this was the easiest thing on my “to do list” for the week, but she saw it as the most important one. No matter what number it was ranked, it struck me that somebody checked in, asked, and even noted that I made positive progress in my life plan. The other big benefit to me that came as a result of her enthusing was that it was cause for reflection. If she thought this task was an integral part of my growth and progress (as opposed to being a PS. item) it must be key in the whole scheme of things. (I later thought about it and it is, indeed.) Anyway, I digress. The point here is that it’s monumentally important to include acknowledgement, recognition, rewarding, and even celebration along the way to a goal — not just at the end.

How do you recognize or celebrate wins, you ask? Well here are are a few cool ideas:

Give yourself a treat upon completion of the task at hand (it can be chocolate, a gift, some free time watching a movie or enjoying nature, a nice meal out, a massage … ANYTHING that you like!).
Instead of going over your to-do list at the end of the day, get in the habit of going over your “done list”. Give yourself credit for all the things you checked off your list in a day.
Keep tasks in your calendar, even when they’re done. Don’t delete your “proof of progress”.
Keep a gratitude journal. Write in the first person, here and now – as if you’ve already accomplished your goal. This type of visionary thinking is the premis for The Secret. At the very least, it’s positive, future-based thoughts from your head out on paper.
Share your goals AND your accomplishments along the way with others. This sounds insignificant, but it’s important to bring your trusted support system on board when you set your sights on something. These important people in our lives can help in subtle but meaningful ways along the path.

These are just a few of the ways you can recognize and celebrate wins along the way.

Unpacking the Issue

icawendy — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 20:37:47 +0000

This is what ICA calls the inital discussion or discovery of the client’s goal and what’s prevented them from reaching it thus far. I think that some of the “unpacking” can occur in the trial session as well as any surveys or intake devices I use in my practice. I also think the unpacking is a critical time, as it’s when the raw information is given and it’s early in the coach-client relationship — so the coach really has to be dialed in (listening, recalling, asking questions, properly enthusing, and generally fostering a positive, solution-oriented environment).

WAIT

icawendy — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 20:14:56 +0000

Wait = Why Am I Talking? This is a key approach to coaching. The client has the goal, the obstacles and the answers. It’s our job to get them to put it all together and if we’re doing all the talking – that won’t happen.

*Interesting statistic: The average adult can typically only recall 50% of what they’ve heard immediately after hearing it.

Extremely Eloquent

icawendy — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 19:32:50 +0000

Today I listened to coaching session. As I just relaxed and started to listen to what I was hearing, it actually sounded like a CONVERSATION. However, there was much more going on that simple conversing. The coach was using quite a few of the tools in the ICA toolbox to conduct this session. There was very careful and active listening, questions, feedback, enthusing, feedback, goal setting, truth-telling, redirecting, and more. It occurred to me how cool it will be when I can deploy all these techniques as the coach on this call did … with such ease that it made what was occurring appear as thought it were just a conversation between two people who knew one another. I think when you can coach and use all of the tools at your disposal but yet there’s comfort, honesty, and exploration … well that’s Extreme Eloquence. That’s what I want to do.

My Perspective on Perspective

icawendy — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 18:52:29 +0000

When being coached recently, I was asked to temporarily switch my perspective to that of another. When I did this, a wealth of understanding and clarity was the result. What was even more enlightening was to take on additional perspectives beyond just Person A and Person B. Persons C, D, E and so on have a lot of light to shed on any particular situation and when you put them all together the end result is a much more accurate and digestible story. I think this can easily be used in my coaching model and I say that because all of life is about relationships — and intertwined relationships = differing perspectives. Putting differing perspectives together = understanding. Understanding = easier navigation of the future!

Switching from Classes to Takeaways and Discoveries

icawendy — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 16:23:23 +0000

In the interest of making this blog more adaptable to me and having it contain the key info I’ll need to be a successful professional coach, I’m going to start blogging in a more topical sense instead of class by class. It’s part of my PROCESS.